yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
