We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
