I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
