It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
