Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
