where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
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Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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