quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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