Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
