I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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