I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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