when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
