i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize