1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize