I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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