...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
