Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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