WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
