She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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