It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
