after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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