I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
