You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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