Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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