You just made me feel so damn special
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm having to shit out rocks
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
