im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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