It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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