garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
