The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
