Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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