I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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