Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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