There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
