69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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