So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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