That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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