Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
