do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
