Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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