I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
