Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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