absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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