I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
