well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
