IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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