Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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