Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.