Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!