Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am available for nakedness