you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.