well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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