Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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