We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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