could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
