it wasn't lemon gatorade
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
