I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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