Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it glows. i had to have it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
