My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize