If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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