Little spoons don't ask big questions
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
