I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm at about main and main street
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
