I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
